One Thing

God is good. And He showed me His goodness on my most recent trip. But for anyone who has ever been on a short-term mission trip you know that the challenge is not feeling God’s presence on the trip, it’s making sure you don’t let the joy of His presence slip away in the weeks that follow your return.

What’s happened in these four weeks since coming home? A whole lot, that’s for sure!

Stories of kids I left in the Philippines have intensified. Alonamae has completely transformed. She was accompanied by her supporter and advocate from the States for a couple weeks after I left. He sent almost daily updates about her needs and changes. In the emails I found out that when I first met her she had Pneumonia and was starving. I saw her differently from the safety of my home than I did when I sat face to face with her. I felt ill when I read that and angry. I don’t even know how to articulate my response. And I see “sick” kids every day at work. Ultimately I feel peace because I know that Alonamae is being taken care of by God, her family, her advocate, Lydia, the nurse, and others that will provide her Pediasure.

In contrast, these last few weeks have brought certainty that I will be a part of another boy’s story. Little Caleb. A week or two after I came home I realized that I emotionally was more invested in the story of Caleb than Alonamae. I felt so guilty. All this talk had surrounded Alonamae and I just didn’t feel the pull towards her. Instead my mind would wander to the way Caleb felt when he melted in my arms, his gentle presence, and his foster parents that couldn’t seem to learn enough about my first impression of his diagnosis and prognosis. I emailed the family and told them the day I spent with them was one of the most memorable times for me and Nancy wrote back in capitals-TO GOD BE THE GLORY! I know with confidence we were not put together by mistake.

Rest was...IS a big lesson. Since being home, this concept has definitely been challenged. Not only making it a priority, but embracing it when it happens unexpectedly. The reality of my changing community was a hard fact last weekend. I shared this with a wise woman and she said, Oh...God will do that when He wants to spend time with you. I was kind of annoyed at that comment to be honest. Although, I will say it’s such a huge relief for me right now to know that there’s at least one thing in my life that won’t change, truth. With friends, work, and me in transition, I still know that one thing promises to be the same.